In the four years since he was forced to retire due to injury at the age of 26, the former Saints full-back has not played organised football.
“I wasn’t sure if it was going to bring back the challenging memories as well as the good ones,” he admitted, in a candid interview with the Daily Echo.
McQueen, now 31, featured in the recent Saints Legends fixture against Manchester United on Saturday, marking his first game in over seven years.
The Saints academy ace retired in 2022 after three years of injury hell, and is still learning to live with the reality that his career was cruelly snatched away.
“I loved it, though,” he added, reflecting on his recent appearance.
“I’ve been reluctant to play because of my knee, but I had a really good day in the end. There were real legends in that dressing room.
Southampton’s Sam McQueen during the Friendly match between Southampton and Manchester United Legends XI at St Mary’s Stadium. Photo by Stuart Martin. (Image: Stuart Martin)
“I was nervous to be around them because I didn’t know if I belonged there, but they were amazing.
“My knee was alright for 20 minutes, but then my calf started to go, and that’s when I knew my knee would flare up. After 25 minutes, I could feel my knee grinding.”
A lot is known about McQueen’s journey.
He packed some incredible experiences into a short career, playing 20 times in the Premier League and starting both Europa League games against Inter Milan.
He has spoken honestly about his injury problems, which started when he tore his ACL on loan at Middlesbrough in 2018, and the depression that followed.
A series of infections followed his initial operation, further damaging his knee. He had nine surgeries all told, including one to take ligaments from his healthy knee.
Doctors advised him to step away from football. But what most do not know is that McQueen’s career-ending injury coincided with a family tragedy.
His 26 year old brother, Benjamin, drowned during a Royal Marines training exercise the same week he suffered that fateful injury at Boro.
It was not until 2023 that details of the tragedy near Portland Harbour in Dorset emerged to the public.
Benjamin was days from completing his training to join an SBS unit, and an inquest concluded health and safety failures led to the young soldier’s death.
“During the journey over two to three years that I was trying to get fit, I was just grieving family loss,” McQueen said.
“I prioritised that. I grieved the loss of my brother but not the loss of my football career. I never really thought about it. It has taken me years to reach that point.
“I’m still coming to terms with it a bit. I retired four years ago, and I was injured for two and a half years. It was so long ago that I should be fine with it by now, really.
“Now I realise it’s time to grow up, move on and accept what has happened. It has been an interesting journey, and I’m in a better place now.
Saints Legends took on Manchester United Legends to mark the 50th anniversary of their FA Cup victory in 1976. (Image: Southampton FC)
“Things like this [playing for Saints Legends] help. Coming here and seeing fans enjoying it makes you realise that it’s not fair to look at football negatively.”
McQueen is currently coaching the under-16s at Saints, a role he says he is lucky to hold, but working at Staplewood does not come without its challenges.
Where most players get to choose when they hang up their boots, making the decision easier to accept, he was not afforded that luxury.
“I was talking to Franny Benali about retirement, and he told me that he doesn’t miss playing at all,” McQueen continued.
“Franny looks back on his career quite fondly and loves reconnecting with old teammates. I get that, but sometimes, working at the club, I have moments that trigger me.
“I’ll enjoy a coaching session and do my jobs in the office, but then I might walk up to get my lunch at the training ground and go past a first-team session on a nice sunny day.
“It is tough seeing players competing at a really high level. I’m in a fortunate position, still being involved at the club, but it does make me miss it.
“There are a couple of people at the club who help me in those moments. Andrew Surman [under-18s head coach] is one; we still have some conversations.
“Matt Patterson is an amazing person at the club. He had challenges in his own career and is back at the club, working in player care and supporting the academy.
“He’s also someone I can talk to because he gets it. Football is tough, and he makes sure that I still enjoy being around it.”
McQueen was blind to the world of ‘real’ work when retiring, but loves being on the grass, even though he must limit how often he joins an under-16s session.
Sam McQueen has held a coaching role at Saints since 2022. (Image: Southampton FC)
And while his career ended prematurely, he is now in a position to push the next generation to reach their potential, something he finds deeply gratifying.
“I love seeing the boys at 15, 16, 17 years old be pushed and realise that they can believe in themselves to be better than they currently are,” he said.
“I love seeing them accept that they’re more than what people tell them they’re good at, or not good at, and I love helping them push themselves to give it a real go.
“A lot of boys these days go through the motions and listen to what people say. It’s great helping them, even though I’m still learning to enjoy the other side.”