As far as significant results that will determine the course of Leeds United’s season go, another thumping at the hands of Arsenal is not one of them. I contemplated after the game ending my match report there after one sentence. That’s all you need to know. So if that’s all you want to read then you have my blessing. But if we must, then I’ll continue.
We cherish victories over Arsenal — ’72, ’99, ’03 — because for the last half a century they so rarely happen. Since winning eight in a row between 1973 and 1976, Leeds’ record against the Gunners reads: played 65, won ten, drawn 22, lost 33. In simpler terms, it’s shit.
For some reason, there was a school of thought that Saturday might be different. In the pub beforehand, some mates were talking up Leeds’ chances. Top of the league and having lost, erm, twice in all competitions since the start of September, they were there for the taking apparently. I ignored these fools I call friends, focused on sinking a few more pints, and had a thoroughly enjoyable afternoon instead. If you went to Elland Road feeling sober and hopeful only to leave feeling dejected and thirsty, then I am afraid to say you are a fool too.
On the morning of the game, The Guardian published a fun article by Barney Ronay about the strange phenomenon that is known as the weirdos who support Arsenal and their ‘terminally online Premier League title pursuit’. From the outside looking in it seems like a remarkably joyless experience, each win not a celebration of moving three points closer to a first championship for over twenty years, but simply a ticking off of another weekend in which they can hold bragging rights over Spurs and Chelsea fans on social media.
The thing is, this isn’t solely unique to Arsenal. As Ronay wrote, ‘We are all terminally online now.’ As Daniel Farke likes to so regularly remind us, Leeds won the Championship title with 100 points last season, winning more games than in any other campaign in their history. Only once, almost 100 years ago, have they scored more goals. Yet week after week the page count on the ‘Farke Out’ thread on WACCOE grew and grew and grew. Admittedly, I get a bit tired of Farke continually referencing those figures too, but I can’t blame him for trying to keep a bit of perspective. Experiencing anything through the prism of the internet is never as fun as living and breathing it.
Perhaps one of the many problems facing modern football is the blurring of the lines between what’s in front of us and what’s on our phone screens. At times the back and forth between home and away fans at Elland Road can feel like having a Twitter argument shouted into your ears. I’m just as guilty as anyone. Arsenal fans had been silent until Martin Zubimendi headed in the opener, at which point they responded to taunts of ‘You only sing when you’re winning,’ by chanting, ‘You only sing when you’re drawing.’ Feeling indignant, I yelled from the cheese wedge as if they could hear me, “But we’re losing!” So there!
Given there were no Leeds chances to describe, I suppose it’s worth getting the other three goals out of the way here. Like Leeds’ record against Arsenal, they were all shit as well. Karl Darlow punched a corner into his own net to take his next step on The Pughnock Cycle — don’t worry, Karl, you’ll probably get dropped soon, but after a few games of Lucas Perri you’ll be back in the team by March and hailed as our saviour for a couple of weeks before we repeat it all again. At least Darlow could blame the defence in front of him standing still and watching Gabriel Martinelli cross from the right and Viktor Gyokeres poke in a third. The £55m flop has scored six goals in the Premier League this season; typically, half of them have been against Leeds. With fifteen minutes to go, Gyokeres was replaced by Gabriel Jesus, who toyed with Pascal Struijk on the edge of Leeds’ penalty area before slapping a shot into the bottom corner.
But by that point Elland Road had decided we weren’t going to be outsung by the Twitter avatars in the away end. Without missing a beat, ‘3-0 down, who gives a fuck, we’re Super Leeds and we’re staying up’, became ‘4-0 down, who gives a fuck, we’re Super Leeds and we’re staying up’.
It was reminiscent of Leeds getting pumped 4-0 by Man City under Jesse Marsch, when City fans couldn’t be heard celebrating their third and fourth goals because all four sides of Elland Road were bouncing in defiance. Except there were a few crucial differences. Farke thankfully didn’t greet the full-time whistle by triumphantly pumping his arms around the ground like Marsch. More importantly, back then there were four games left of the season, including fixtures against Arsenal and Chelsea that left Leeds needing a hail Mary to avoid relegation. This time around, there are fourteen games remaining with United six points clear of the bottom three. I prefer it this way.
Sometimes it’s just better not to let the result ruin a good day out. Especially when there’s a much more important game coming up under the lights on Friday that could go a long way to determining the course of Leeds United’s season and promises to be far, far more agonising and fretful. I can’t wait. ⬢